Miss Mary Jane
by Fujiko Kuwabara
Summary: While stuck together casing a museum late at night, Jigen and Fujiko find something in the glove compartment of Lupin's car. T for language and drug use.


Okay, so, a couple days ago, I couldn't sleep and was struck with some inspiration and thus a new fanfic was created - FINALLY! =D It's just a one shot, but I was thinking of writing another short story sequel. We'll see what happens. =P So, yeah, like always, enjoy and, if you feel like it, review. =P

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"Of all people, of all things," Fujiko muttered angrily as she sulked in the passenger seat. "I had to get stuck with you."

She uncrossed and crossed her legs again, banging her knees on the glove compartment.

It was a tiny cherry red dented, beaten up car from the seventies of Lupin's, a Get Away car he kept stashed somewhere. Inside was excruciatingly cramped, the upholstery falling apart. Nobody understood why he kept such a piece of junk but Lupin was attached to it.

The ridiculously tiny car and its lack of leg room was only a minor inconvenience to Fujiko, compared to being stuck in a ridiculously tiny car with no legroom with a man who hated her just as much as she hated him.

Jigen fished around the inside pocket of his jacket for his pack of cigarettes and plucked one out. He put the cigarette to his lips, his eye twitching ever so slightly under the brim of his fedora as he looked at the remaining cigarettes in the pack; only two left.

"_Fuck my life._" He thought bitterly as he put the pack away.

"Hey, I'm having just about as much fun as you are, Princess," Jigen grumbled, the unlit cigarette clenched between his front teeth as he searched for his lighter.

"_Stop_ calling me Princess!" She snapped, adjusting her legs, once again, hitting her knee hard against the glove compartment. "If you call me Princess one more time, I swear I will put a bullet in your brain!"

"I'd rather do it myself, save us both the trouble." He mumbled, lighting his cigarette and taking a deep long drag.

In the tiny car of Lupin's, they were parked across the street of a museum. The two were supposed to be casing the place; four days from then, the museum would be putting on display an array of recently discovered ancient Egyptian jewel-encrusted gold masks and Lupin had to have them. Obviously, Lupin had not learned from his past experience with another certain Egyptian mask.

Goemon was temporarily stuck in Japan and Lupin, claiming he had a sudden "emergency", had tossed the keys to his crappy car to Jigen before boarding the next plane to France so Jigen and Fujiko were stuck together in painfully constricting confines, casing a museum in the middle of the night.

"This is absolutely ridiculous." Fujiko said exasperatedly under her breath, shaking her head as she looked out her window. "This is torture, absolute torture."

"Oh, yeah, and I'm just in Heaven here." He rolled his window down and tapped the ash of his cigarette outside. "I'd much rather be alone, getting so drunk off of my ass that I can't even remember my own friggin' name than to be stuck in this friggin' Hot Wheel with you."

Jigen's long legs were cramped, sore from being in the same uncomfortable positions for what seemed like eternity. What he wouldn't give for a drink, even a shot, of Jack Daniels.

"Hell, after this, I could use a drink myself." Fujiko agreed, running a hand through her hair as she thought about the bottle of wine Lupin had given her chilling in the mini-fridge of her hotel room.

She winced, cursing under her breath, as she uncrossed her legs again. She could just imagine the giant bruises forming under her tan slacks.

"Son of a bitch," She rubbed her sore knees, pouting. "I hate this car, I don't know what Lupin sees in it."

"I don't know what he sees in a lot of things – like you, for example." Jigen shot back before taking another slow, long drag of his cigarette. He was trying to savor and enjoy every single second of the last few cigarettes he had until he could get out of that car and as far away as possible from Fujiko so he could buy a new pack. And a big bottle of Jack. He'd certainly be in Heaven then.

Fujiko ignored his uncalled-for jab at her expense and continued talking as if he hadn't said anything.

"I wish he'd get rid of this thing, it's falling to shit." She looked up at the ripped fabric of the roof that hung just a few inches above her head.

"Don't break anything," Jigen warned just as she reached up to tug at the loose fabric, flicking the butt out and rolling up the window. "Lupin loves this thing more than anything, even more than you; if anything in this breaks while we have it, he'll flip his shit. So watch your knees, I don't want that glove compartment door to fall off."

"Oh, please, this thing's locked." Fujiko nudged the glove compartment door with her knee. "Nothing I do will budge it."

"Still." Jigen grunted with a shrug, reaching for his second to the last cigarette and putting it to his lips. He kept an eye out, watching the museum as he lit it.

The curators of the museum must have been either very greedy or just plain stupid; they had no guards and the worst security system known to man. Stealing those masks weren't going to be a challenge for Lupin; it was something he could have done effortlessly at three-years-old – blindfolded.

The car was deadly silent as they sat, the car slowly filling up with smoke as Jigen puffed away, watching the museum. It looked eerie, completely surrounded in darkness. In the corner of his eye, Jigen saw Fujiko turned him, her head tilting slightly to the side, making her hair fall into her face in a flirtatious manner.

"Can I get a drag of that?" She asked, as if she was just so innocent.

"No." He grunted back without missing a beat – like _hell_ he was going to share one of his last cigarettes with Lupin's Harpy.

"What? C'mon!"

"No. "

"Oh, c'mon, Jigen! One little puff!" Fujiko whined. "You greedy bastard!"

"Well, isn't that just the pot calling the kettle black?" Jigen chuckled, passing Fujiko the cigarette. "You shouldn't whine. I _hate_ it when women whine."

"Why?" Fujiko took a quick drag, quirking a sarcastically questioning delicately plucked eyebrow. "Is that your weakness? Does it make you feel bad?"

"No. It's just irritating as fuck." He answered, taking the cigarette back.

"Oh, whatever."

Fujiko rolled her eyes, adjusting her legs and once again hitting her knee against the glove compartment, which banged open, the dim light from inside the illuminating the car. A bunch of clutter - newspaper scraps, maps of different states and countries, several napkins with different women's numbers scribbled on them - spilled onto Fujiko's lap, making them both jump as she let out a high startled yelp.

"Fujiko!" Jigen barked. "I told you to be careful with that thing!"

"God, I'm sorry! It's not my fault there isn't enough God damn room in this car!"

"Clean that shit up, Fujiko!" Jigen rolled his window down a few inches and tossed out his cigarette butt. "That better not be broken."

"Jesus Christ, Jigen, just shut up!" Fujiko snapped back as she picked everything up off of her lap.

She started to put it all back in when something inside the glove compartment caught her eye and she stopped. She reached out with her free hand and slowly pulled it out.

"Oh, my God . . ." She whispered, a shocked little smile playing at her lips. "Jigen."

"What?"

"Look what I just found in here!" She let out a sharp little shriek of laughter as Jigen turned to her.

She held up the small Ziploc bag she had just taken out of the glove compartment. Jigen squinted and it took him a split second to recognize what it was inside. They both sat, dumbfounded, in silence for a moment as they stared at what Fujiko had just found.

"Is that . . .Is that weed?" He asked in disbelief, looking from the bag to Fujiko.

"And joint wraps." Fujiko added, nodding to the pack of rolling paper inside the bag with the green buds. "My god, I can't believe he had this in here!"

"I can't, either! That little French bastard's been holding out on me!"

"Wow!" Fujiko said breathlessly as she opened the bag and inhaled deeply, the aroma of marijuana filling the car. "Oh, my God, that smells so good!"

"Lemme see that."

Fujiko zipped the bag shut and tossed it to Jigen. He pulled the bag open and was greeted with a strong wave of the illegal drug's intoxicating smell to the face.

"Whoa." Again, Jigen looked from the bag to Fujiko, who couldn't stop giggling in disbelief at their newfound treasure. "You wanna . . .?"

Fujiko looked up at him, blinking as is she hadn't understood what he had just said to her. She let out a laugh as if what he said was absolutely preposterous.

"I haven't smoked since college," She shook her head in disbelief, her eyes still on the baggie. "And that was almost ten years ago!"

"Well, maybe it's about time you toked up again." Jigen joked, taking the rolling papers out of the baggie.

"But it's Lupin's."

"Since when have you ever cared about taking something that belonged to Lupin?" He chuckled, shrugging. "Maybe he doesn't even know it here; maybe he left it in here the last time he had the car and totally forgot about it."

"_Besides, finders keepers!_" Jigen thought to himself, a smug little smirk on his face. "_Suck on that, Lupin!_"

"It's gotta be so old." She whispered, a hand covering her mouth. "Doesn't Marijuana mold?"

"Yeah, but this stuff is completely clean." Jigen turned the rearview mirror lights on and held the baggie up to the light. "See?"

"Mmm . . ." Fujiko bit her lip in serious contemplation. "Jigen, I don't know."

"C'mon, take a hit." Jigen urged jokingly. "Succumb to peer pressure, Fujiko."

"I didn't know you were one for peer pressure, Jigen."

"I ain't gonna force ya to, I'm just suggesting." He shrugged as he took a folded map from the glove compartment and placed it on his lap. "It'll make it so much more easier for us to stand each other."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Fujiko nodded. "All right, go ahead. Roll one up, Jigen."

"Now, you're speakin' my language!" Jigen chuckled as he grabbed a little of the green herb from the bag and placed it on the map on his lap with the rolling paper.

Fujiko marveled, stunned speechless, as she watched the gunslinger work slowly, gracefully as he rolled, wrapped, and licked the joint with a look of concentration under his Fedora. He had it all perfectly down to an art; it was a second nature for him.

"There." He said with satisfaction a few moments later, lifting up the perfectly rolled joint so Fujiko could get a good look at it. "You wanna hit it first?"

"Sure." Fujiko smiled as she took the joint from him and put it to her lips.

Jigen lit it for her as she inhaled deeply, taking a very big hit, the car instantly reeking of burning Marijuana. Fujiko held the smoke in her lungs for a few seconds before exploding into a hysterical coughing fit. Jigen laughed as she handed him the joint, a disgusted look on her face, as it turned red.

"Do you remember how to smoke it, Princess?" Jigen joked, patting her on the back as she coughed. "You need me to re-teach you?"

"Fuck you!" She choked out between coughs, giving him a recently manicured middle finger.

Jigen chuckled again before he took his first hit. He held it in longer than Fujiko but only by a few extra seconds before he, too, began coughing himself. He held it away from him and squinted at the burning joint, his coughing dying down.

"This is good shit." He said after a moment.

It was true. He hadn't smoked any Ganja in quite a long time – not quite as long as Fujiko but it had been a while, about a month or two. The stuff he had last smoked wasn't as potent, wasn't as delicious and flavorful as the magical goodness he and Fujiko were smoking just then. He looked at the joint one moment longer before passing it back to Fujiko.

"You should put on the radio," Fujiko suggested, taking a couple puffs. "Or would that break if we messed with it, too?"

"I dunno, we could check." Jigen took a quick look around outside then leaned over, reaching for the radio, and snapped it on; it came to life instantly, glowing. The sound of static now mingled with the smell of the pot in the tiny car. They gave it a minute, exchanging anticipating looks briefly before Jigen turned the knobs, trying to find a station.

"_- And we've got some Janis, Jimi and Zeppelin comin' up for ya. We might even through in some Beatles - and maybe Rufus and Chaka Khan'll tell ya somethin' good a little bit later,_" The radio told them, the DJ's voice low and smooth. "_But, right now, we've gotta lil' Jefferson Airplane for ya. Enjoy, you guys._"

"Sounds like a pretty good station," Jigen said. "We should keep it here."

"Yeah, you can't go wrong with the classics." She agreed.

Fujiko closed her eyes, passing the joint to Jigen as "Somebody to Love" began playing. She began softly singing along with a ditzy little smile on her face.

"I love this song," She said as she slowly nodded her head to the beat of the music, feeling it. "I haven't heard it in forever."

"Mm," Jigen nodded in agreement, taking two big hits. "It's definitely one of my favorites."

"They just don't make good music like they used to." Fujiko smiled lazily as Jigen turned the volume up.

"Amen to that, sister." Jigen smirked, taking another hit before handing it back to Fujiko.

"I used to love Jefferson Airplane," Fujiko thought out loud, reminiscing. "I used to listen to them all the time when I was younger . . . Then I just stopped listening to them – it was probably around the same time I quit smoking pot."

Jigen watched Fujiko as she rambled, a grin slowly crawling across his face. Her bloodshot eyes were half-lidded, her movements slow, almost airy and sloth-like, her posture relaxed despite her cramped knees.

"Fujiko," He said as she sipped at the joint. "Are you high?"

Fujiko held the smoke in her mouth, French inhaling. She exhaled in Jigen's face then giggled.

"Maybe. Quite possibly." She giggled again, putting a hand to her face. "Yes, I think so. Just a little. What about you?"

"I've gotta pretty good buzz goin' on, yeah." He nodded as she passed the joint back to him.

"Good," She gave him a dumb smile, which Jigen found amusing; he had never seen Fujiko make such a comical face before. "Can you stand me now?"

Jigen seemed to think about it for a few moments then shrugged.

"I can tolerate you."

"Good!" Fujiko repeated. "I supposed I'm tolerating you, too."

Jigen laughed as he put the joint to his lips. He watched Fujiko rummage through the still open glove compartment.

"I wonder what else is in here."

"Don't get your hopes up," He smirked, taking a hit. "I doubt there's gonna be any diamonds or cash in there."

"Oh, please!" Fujiko cackled at Jigen's quick jab as she took a small pile of papers from the glove compartment. "They're just old articles about Lupin."

A Polaroid fell onto Fujiko's lap and Jigen, thinking nothing of it, reached out and picked it up while Fujiko was distracted by old newspaper articles from when Lupin was first starting out; his first heists, his first goofy smirked mug shot. Jigen flipped the Polaroid over and looked at it as he took one more hit off the joint. He choked on the smoke and began coughing uncontrollably, his eyes widening as he looked at the picture.

"What?" Fujiko asked, looking up with a startled expression on her face. "Are you okay?"

"Uhm," Jigen said between coughs and laughs, his face turning almost as red as a tomato as he flung the Polaroid at her. "Check this out."

"What is it?" She asked, picking it up.

"You might getta kick outta it."

"What is it?" She asked again, flipping it over. Her jaw dropped in absolute shock as she gasped quite audibly before shouting. "Oh, my God! I'll kill him!"

Jigen continued to laugh and cough as Fujiko fumed over the Polaroid.

It was of Fujiko when she was quite young, in her early twenties. She, completely naked, was posed provocatively on an unmade bed. Her auburn hair was long and messy-looking, as if she had either just woken up or had just gotten done fooling around; it fell in her face, slightly shielding her coy, playful look as she bit her index finger. There was a mirror on the wall above the headboard of the bed and in the reflection of the mirror, with the bright flash of the camera above his head, was the naked torso of Lupin, his classic trickster grin on his face.

"I cannot believe he has this!" Fujiko's face flushed bright red in embarrassment as she shrieked. "I swear I'm gonna kill him!"

"I can't believe he has it, either!" Jigen laughed, his coughing finally controlled and dying down.

"Ooh, I could just die!" Fujiko wailed angrily as she shoved the picture into her purse. "I swear, as soon as he steps off that plane, he's_ dead_."

"What're are you so embarrassed by? I mean, you don't look half bad. I'd think you'd be totally okay with seeing pictures of yourself like that."

Fujiko shot him a look.

"Yes, you _would_ think that, wouldn't you?" She sighed. "I'm not as big of whore as you think I am, Jigen."

"So, you admit that you're a whore?"

Fujiko gave Jigen another look, a hurt one, and Jigen instantly felt guilty for his uncalled-for burn. They had been doing so well; they had been "tolerating" each other.

"I'm sorry, that was pretty mean."

"I meant that I have some modesty, I have some dignity." She stole the joint from him and took one long big hit, mumbling under her breath. "And thanks for apologizing. Dick."

Jigen had to laughed.

"How's that joint doin'?"

Fujiko held it up and the two of them looked at it, it was done.

"It's out." She shrugged then stubbed out the roach into the cup holder underneath the radio.

The two sat, neither one of them talking, the only noise the sound of Robert Plant's voice singing about how the letter you wrote him made him mad, mad, mad, how when he read the words that it told him it made him sad, sad, sad.

"I love this song." Jigen and Fujiko said simultaneously.

They looked at each other and laughed in that special certain little way that people do when they're high. Jigen reached over and turned the volume up again. Fujiko swayed her head slightly from side to side, once again singing along softly with the radio. Jigen tapped his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the music. He glanced down at his watch to check the time. It was only one thirty. He looked up towards the museum for a moment then turned back to Fujiko.

"I don't know about you, Princess, but I've just about had all I can take from being stuck in this uncomfortable piece of shit clown car." He took out his last cigarette and put it to his lips. Crushing the empty pack of cigarettes in his hand, he clenched the cigarette between his lips. "I'm outta cigarettes and I could use a drink. Whatdya say?"

"Ooh," Fujiko nodded enthusiastically in agreement. "I've got wine back in my hotel room if you wanna go back there. We could smoke a little more and get dessert from room service!"

"Sure, sounds like a pretty good plan." Jigen turned the car on as Fujiko shoved all the loose papers back into the glove compartment and shut it. "But, first, we gotta stop by a liquor store. I gotta get a new pack and a bottle of Jack Daniels."

"Ooh," Fujiko repeated, as if what he had just said was a turn on. "I could really go for a shot or two of Jack Daniels myself."

Jigen paused in what he was doing and looked at Fujiko intently. Fujiko blinked, seeing him staring at her in the corner of her eye. She turned and, seeing him smiling at her, blinked again in confusion.

"What?"

"Fujiko," He said with a chuckle. "If you weren't you, I'd probably like you."

"Thanks!" Fujiko smiled as if what he had just said had made perfect sense to her in her intoxicated mind.

Jigen rolled down his window then took one more look at museum before driving off. He lit his cigarette as he drove, taking a couple long deep drags, savoring the taste and waiting for the nicotine to affect his body. He took the cigarette from his lips and nudged Fujiko with his elbow, passing it to her.

The two were quiet for the rest of the ride, sharing the cigarette and softly singing along to the classic rock playing on the radio.


End file.
